- I'm not sure it's a good idea. - What?
- All four of us moving in together. - It is!
- Shoot! Wait. - You OK?
- Shoot, my gnu! My gnu! - OK, we're good.
- Is the gnu OK? - Yeah, fine. Thanks.
And are you OK?
- I'm fine. - I mean, it's mostly about you.
You know, if they're too lovey-dovey, we could rent our own place.
- What do you think? - You're kidding, right?
- No, I'm serious. - That's so sweet.
- Don't worry about it. Come on. - Right.
Wait, shit, shit, shit. Wait. Help me out, my phone is...
- There we go. - All good?
Yeah. Oh, shoot.
Who is it?
Nah, it's nothing, just something with the girls.
Right.
Wait, what do you mean "right"?
Weren't you supposed not to see them again?
Yes, absolutely. I...
I don't plan on replying.
Yeah.
Oh, come on, no need to tell each other everything in a relationship!
- No need to make a fuss about it. - Does he know you're working with Max?
I don't know how you always manage to get into trouble!
Not at all! Trouble gets into me, Chantal!
- No, no, no. You're just like my cherry. - Your cherry?
My pussy.
My Cherry.
She'd found another home, you see?
Two bowls, two beds. A great deal, a nice life, you know?
Look how she ended up.
But I'm not going to end up...
I'm not going to end up like Cherry.
Not at all. I'll handle it.
I can assure you I will handle it.
- Right. - Right.
She used to say that, too.
Before jumping off the sixth floor.
Come on, let's have a look.
OK.
Bingo! Now it sticks.
Bingo!
Stop!
Open your mouth. Wider.
- It hurts... - Yes.
I'm bleeding, for sure.
Watch out.
- Was that a cowlick? - No, that was on the house.
OK, so, if you do something wrong, we'll use a code word.
- "Llama." - Uh, yeah.
Yeah. Right, try something...
manly.
- Say something manly. - "We'll do a great job, Elsa."
Nope. Forget about manly.
- You know what? Don't do anything. - Right.
Right.
- OK, he doesn't get it. - Girls, it's cool.
We all have the same objective.
Oh, my God, that portrait... That photo is vile.
That's my Zaza.
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
THE LAME PLAN
THE CRAZY PLAN
THE BOOTY PLAN
THE HOOK-UP PLAN
Max?
Hey, Max!
Sorry, I was... I was enjoying the sun.
It just makes me want to sail away...
- You took a shower. - We'll do a great job, Elsa.
Oh, yeah. About that, I...
Wait, no.
Wait. No, no, no.
No, not at all.
I wanted to tell you, with regards to the incubator,
I think it's better if we don't work together.
- That's it. - You're saying that because you're scared.
No, I'm saying that because I don't want to do it.
But you do...
What are you doing?
You do because this project is meant for you, it's social.
And you're right, I'll stop mixing my personal and professional lives, OK?
I swear to you! Even now, if you wanted to kiss me...
Don't...
We're not technically working together yet.
- So, if you really want to... - Surprise!
Hey!
You're stuck with me now, baby!
Why?
Because the three of us are going to be working together long-term.
- All the time! - Yeah!
Yeah, but no... I...
I'm not sure I understand.
I'm your egg! Pinkars!
It's a girls' business, it works!
Oh, no. No, no, no.
No, because it's for women from educational priority areas and...
Yes, but I'm from Metz, it's rough out there.
Plus, I saw her books, she's in the shit.
She won't last without the incubator.
Her thing is so poorly managed, it's rubbish...
Alright, don't exaggerate! Hey, nice...
No, but Cha, it's...
- No, it's not... - He's right, I...
I'm screwed. I'll go under without your help.
Yes, hello, Julio Saldenha.
I wanted to know if you'd received my demo?
Yeah? Oh, OK. Alright, I'll call back. Thank you.
Yes, hello, Julio Saldenha. I wanted to know if you'd received my demo?
Hello, Julio Saldenha.
Julio Saldenha. Yeah.
Yes, hel...
I'll call back, fine.
Alright, I'll call back. Thanks.
I'm sorry? Yes? Ah!
OK, I'm on my way.
Yeah, yeah. OK.
Thank you so much. Bye.
Give it up for Pinkars' great savior
who just found offices on a barge!
- Barge charge! Barge charge! - OK, I've got to go.
- Charlotte just got back. - Barge charge!
- She's singing sex songs, I'm confused. - Barge charge! Barge charge!
Barge charge, large barge charge!
- Got to go. - Barge charge, large barge charge!
Hey, calm down, we haven't won anything, there's nothing to...
Come on, what's the point of you? You're just a grumpy old fart!
I'm giving this company my all, I even wrote a hit song!
"Large barge charge." Awesome, right?
It's true, what have you been doing? Baking?
Well, uh...
Charlotte, I'm not even sure I'm sticking around.
- So... - What?
I've got an interview in Berlin next week.
We talked over Skype, it went well, they want to see me again.
It's a luxury start-up.
You're dropping me? Now?
It's the worst time. Our future is being decided.
Fuck, Charlotte. I need to think about myself, too.
No, I guess you're right.
You're right. Live your life. Go for it.
Get on that plane, go lick some German ass.
I don't give a fuck, anyway.
It's...
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Rachel?
That's not my name anymore.
And I've stopped all that.
OK.
All good. I've stopped, too.
- It's been a while since I paid for sex. - Good for you.
Because I've moved on. I'm a musician.
And I'm seeing someone. So, if you called me to...
How could I have known you were Julio Saldenha? Have a seat.
Well, your demo is great.
I'm organizing a live show for new artists.
With an electro/rock focus. At the Point Éphémère, this weekend.
Someone pulled out last minute. Are you available?
Yeah.
Yes. Of course.
I'm sorry, but just to be clear...
- My past is behind me, so... - No problem.
I'm only interested in your music, Julio.
- Nothing else. - OK.
OK, OK.
That's amazing but it's...
it's kind of annoying that...
that the only time someone likes your music, well...
that that someone is a former client.
Yes, but I mean, it's a huge opportunity.
You get that?
Do I have a choice?
Well, yes. Of course, you do.
I mean, this gig is a crazy opportunity. I get to play my songs...
MAXIME: SO GLAD WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER CHARLOTTE: COME BY MY OFFICE!
And it happens to everyone, working with the wrong person.
Well, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You're right.
It happens to everyone, working with the wrong person but...
Totally.
You trust me?
I'LL BE THERE ASAP. I'M A BIT STUCK.
I trust you.
Totally.
(CHARLOTTE: IT'S URGENT, COME ON! MAXIME: MEETING AT MY PLACE REAL SOON;)
Well, uh...
I need to go, I...
But I'll unpack those. Promise.
- I'll take care of it as soon as I can. - OK, great.
- OK? See you. - See you later.
- I love you. - I love you too.
Hi, guys.
Ah! How are you?
- Hi. - Yeah, yeah.
We were just discussing the banner and the costs.
I mean, about what he wrote here...
That doesn't work for me. Subcontracting costs.
- Right? We go from 18,000 to 21,000. - He wanted to add...
- Yeah, yeah. - That works.
- Who's that? - Stéphanie, a colleague.
Stéphanie...
- See? She agrees with me. - OK.
- OK. See you! - See you!
I'M ON MY WAY
- Thank you. - Sorry, sorry.
- You show up now? - No, I had...
- Well, I've got to go. - My love! My love, I'm sorry! Sorry!
...that I liked.
Surprise!
- You OK? - Yeah!
Elsa? Concerning...
- Charlotte? - Yeah? Yeah.
Hey, by the way, look at your business plan.
I don't get what you did on lines two and three.
Well, basically, from one year to the next...
So, there's 64,800 and 75,100, which means there's an increase.
JULIO: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
- So... The Kingfisher Barge. - Yeah?
- Yeah! - It's a play on words!
- It's a bit like The King Fisherman Barge. - Totally.
I've got to go. Really.
- Yes, I... - Wait, wait, Elsa.
- We just need to do this. - Oh, yeah!
- It's a priority. - Pretty please!
OK, but I can't stay long.
Honestly, it will be quick.
Barge?
Yeah, we're making progress, but...
it's getting me into trouble.
No, sorry, that's not what I wanted to say. I'm sorry.
Nectar.
Peach?
Apricot.
No, not apricot...
Uh, Jimmy, I don't get it.
He says you should really give it your all.
But I am!
- That's what I'm doing. - Save.
Save some time for the important things, too.
Naked.
Naked?
Naked.
Get naked, don't be afraid of getting hurt!
Sometimes, it's annoying, sometimes, it's hard, but remember...
You're not doing this for you. Remember why you're doing this.
- Why am I doing this? - Why are you living, basically!
- Yes! - You're here for a reason!
At the end of the day, in the general ledger,
there's your line, your name.
There's you.
What a genius.
Basically, make room for what really matters to you.
OK.
Right, well, I'm going to make some room.
I'll be right back.
- You OK? - Yes.
Oh, shit! My glasses...
Shit...
OK, all good.
Yes, yes. Wait...
I miss you, you know.
I miss you too.
- I've hardly seen you since you moved in. - I'm working way too much.
That's why.
But tomorrow, after your gig...
we'll have a few beers.
- Oh, yeah? - We'll have some real "us time," OK?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
I'm glad you're coming to see me.
Me too.
Be on time. I need you, I'm serious.
Yes, I promise!
I'm not always late...
- No... - No...
- No, that doesn't sound like you. - Not at all.
- Where are you going? - To unpack my boxes.
- What, now? Seriously? - Yes, now.
- Well, no. - Well, yes.
- No. - Why not?
Because I'm not done with you... Hey, wait!
Why does she never pick up?
She has time, she doesn't have a kid!
Pearl grey or ocher?
She's with Charlotte again.
Is she playing solo or what?
Well, I think ocher is good, no?
The pearl grey is beautiful.
You think I could work on the incubator?
With a wedding, a newborn and no daycare, it seems a little complicated.
- You're right, I totally could. - Well, actually, no.
- You couldn't, Milou. - I need to find a nanny.
A nanny?
Didn't you want to breastfeed for 26 months?
Jeez! The one time I'm flexible... You should be glad.
And that's not ocher, it's yellow!
- What are you talking about? - It's a matter of opinion, no?
No. It's a matter of eyesight.
I developed a strong bond with Baby.
Through games and massages.
- Everything is about learning. - She's good.
Please, "a strong bond with Baby"?
Even I think she's dumb, what would Eddy think?
And to clean him, you would use...
- Baby wipes. - Wipes?
Ever heard of liniment?
I love to sing them Italian lullabies, it really soothes them.
- Oh, what a shame! We don't speak Italian. - It's no biggie, Milou.
But it is.
If I don't speak Italian, neither does he, so she won't either. Ciao!
Cloth diapers are great, they're environmentally friendly.
- They're a bit of a pain, but... - A pain?
- Well, a bit, but... - They're not.
They are.
- Ah. - They're not!
- They're kind of a pain. - No.
No.
Over my dead body.
So, as I was saying, I was a nanny at the Drummond's for 12 years.
A household based on trust. It was wonderful.
- Here is my reference. - Alright, I'm letting you handle this.
If you have any questions, everything's in there.
Roman, you're very convincing.
I don't know what part you're preparing...
but we're looking for a babysitter.
I'm sorry, nothing personal, but I'm just here to look after the baby.
I'm not sure what you mean by "part..."
One acceptable babysitter.
One! Is it too much to ask?
I have to say, your baby is super cute.
Little rascal. You just want to tickle him!
Thanks, that's sweet.
- Right... - Thank you.
OK, whatever, let's hire him.
- What do you mean? - Who cares, there's the nanny cam.
- You still want the job, Madam...? - Madam Doufeu.
Whoa, Roman, please.
Close your legs.
Well, you're hired. And keep the outfit, it will be less traumatizing for him.
All good.
- So, this here is the barge, OK? - OK...
So, here...
I'd put an open space here. An open space, just like that.
- Then, a meeting room. - Yeah...
- A staff room here. Pretty useful. - Wait, Milou. Have you seen your plans?
This is just to give you an idea. I'll make proper plans.
- Are you sure? - Well, yes.
You don't even have time to wash your hair so...
Listen to me.
You and Elsa need me, alright? You can't do anything without me!
No, we need an architect. Not you.
- I'll work for free. - No.
- I'll invest in your company. - No...
I'll put a bedroom in.
So you don't have to live here anymore!
Welcome to the incubator!
Girls, you could have told me about it, because Milou, you're...
But it's so cool! The two of us be will be working together.
- The three of us! - Yes!
But what about Eddy?
- True, what about my nephew? - Let me show you.
- There. See? - Look, your buddies are flying, too.
- Wait, that's... - Look...
- Is that Roman? - Yeah.
- Yes, that's him. - Look...
- Alright. - Alright.
Crazy, right? It's in real time.
Awesome. You've changed, Milou.
Honestly, he's fine, at least he's normal.
He is. Unlike his douchey mate.
Will you stop bitching about him?
No, I mean, seriously.
It's getting annoying.
Whatever you say, he's still a great guy.
True, Milou, you're such a pain when it comes to him!
Sorry, I'm a pain?
Come on, Julio?
- Julio. - Julio is a great guy!
It's not his fault he's sick.
- Huh? - Yes, he's a sex addict.
There's a reason he chose that job.
No, it's not like that.
Stop it! It's not like that. And he did stop for me.
He never really stopped, he took a break.
Hang on, the guy slept with, like, a thousand chicks,
he can't just stop.
It's not like that. He wasn't doing it for... the sex.
He was doing it to help his mother. It's different.
Still, a guy like that could never make you happy.
It wouldn't be a question of if he'd cheat but when he'd cheat.
Yeah. And it would be a matter of days.
Yeah, that's no life! You'd just go crazy. You wouldn't stop thinking about it.
- If he were late, you'd just go crazy! - Yeah!
And knowing he'd fucked 573 chicks...
Dealing with one or two exes is complicated enough.
I mean, 573...
- Max! No! What a surprise! - No way!
- That's crazy. - It's no coincidence.
That's life giving us a sign.
- Come on in! - Yes, come in!
- Oh, he's handsome, isn't he? - He is.
- No pain, no gain. - Amazing.
Damn it, Julio...
I'm on call tonight. You should have told me before.
Yeah, sorry.
I would have liked to see you on stage.
You know, I'm not sure I'm ready to perform in front of friends yet.
Even Roman can't come, he's working apparently.
Only Elsa will be there.
Elsa?
Julio...
She didn't tell you?
- To the incubator! - Yes!
- Pinkars! Pink... - You're still not drinking?
No. No, I've got to go.
I...
- I have a gig. - You? You're going to a gig?
Yes, I'm going to a gig with...
my colleague Stéphanie, so...
- Can't we come? Tag along? - Ah...
No. No, you can't. It's sold out.
The Point Éphémère is tiny, so it sells out fast.
There are no tickets left, but don't be disappointed.
It's only young talents trying to make it, it's boring...
I love young talents trying to make it! Don't you, Maxime?
- I do, I'm a big fan. - There you go.
But I don't know, maybe she's ashamed of us.
Not at all...
Who's this Stéphanie, anyway? Where did you find her?
Actually, Stéphanie isn't very friendly. She's a bit... cantankerous.
Like that, a bit uptight.
Just like Milou! We love it!
- I've found tickets. Awesome! - No!
- Shall I get you one, Maxime? - Sure!
Oh, dear... Oh, dear! Bad news.
What's wrong?
Stéphanie is sick.
- We're not going. - Who cares!
I haven't been out in ages!
- The Uber will be here in two minutes! - OK!
Even better without Stéphanie. What's wrong with her?
- I hope she dies. - Are you nuts?
A coma will do. Two or three days.
- And genital herpes. - That's on the house.
Yeah!
Come on! Let's get this party started!
- It's here. - OK.
ELSA: SOZ, STUCK AT THE OFFICE... I'M COMING!
Oh, dear! It doesn't look very safe...
Come on, let's not go. I'll pay you back.
You don't get it, it's underground! The kind of place with loads of hotties.
Easy, tiger.
You're getting married, like, tomorrow. To my brother!
JULIO: I'M ABOUT TO GO ON STAGE.
No, stop! It's a deathtrap!
I bet they don't even do a bag search.
Nothing will happen while you're with me, baby, OK?
- Dude, Llama! - But...
- I liked it. - There you go!
- You liked the "baby"? - Yeah, "baby."
- Yeah, I did. - I'm being manly.
- Shotgun! I'm going to hit on hipsters! - No!
You OK? Nervous?
- A little. - It's going to be OK.
Good evening!
Hey! Hold up. Wait, wait!
Let's have a drink before we go see the show!
- Yeah! - Yeah, totally.
Here's your comforter.
- There you go, hush. - I'm off.
Bye, you.
- You gonna be OK? - Yes, and you, Mr. Ben Smires?
- Always in character. - That's acting for you.
Are you sure you're OK?
Well, yeah. Yeah, I'm great.
Things are great with Milou. Calm.
Before the kid, it was hell, but now we're friends.
- It's a good thing, right? - I don't think so.
And in the sack?
Good luck, Mr. Ben Smires!
Girls! Let's take a pic.
Oh, no. No, no, no!
- No, I'll take it. - But you won't be in it!
But it will be better framed, I swear. It's going to be great.
- Go on. - Yeah.
It's going to be perfect because you're taking it.
- Llama. Yeah. - Llama?
Without you, this picture is worthless.
- Double llama. - Mega llama.
Right, I'm getting a drink.
Oh, what a klutz! No...
- So annoying! - It will dry, don't worry.
- I'm going to clean myself up. - OK. Go for it.
- Should I follow her? - No, you stay here.
Think, Elsa. Think.
Think!
Sorry.
You're up next!
- Break a leg. - Thanks.
Hey, let's go for a drink after, just the two of us?
No, my girlfriend's here. Well, she's coming.
Right, OK. Another night, then.
To chat about music, sure.
Yeah, yeah. About music.
Good luck.
Thank you. Goodnight!
We want more! We want more!
Sorry.
Hey!
- Are you nuts? - What's wrong?
He groped me!
- What's wrong with you, asshole? - Don't touch her. Stop it!
Get the hell out of here! Throw them out!
- Out you go! - That chick is crazy!
Unbelievable. We just wanted a girly night.
Trust a guy to ruin it.
- #MeToo. - It's really serious.
- We need to report it to the police. - Forget it.
- Let's go back, then. - No, I'm fed up, I stink of booze.
It's... It's annoying, it's lame, everything is ruined.
It's true. Honestly, just give her some space.
It's annoying, seriously. Come on, let's get a cab.
No, no, I'm fine.
I'll head home via the quays, anyway. I need some fresh air. I need to walk.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
OK, kisses, then.
- Kisses, honey. Be careful. - Yes.
Right, well... See you.
- If there's anything, you just... - Yeah, OK, thanks.
- I'm here. - Thanks. OK, OK.
- You're pathetic. - I was just...
Hey, hey, hey. Where are you headed?
You were awesome on stage.
- Was I? - Yeah.
I mean, people loved it.
- I was so proud. - What are you playing at, Elsa?
What?
I never went on stage.
Subtitle translation by Julia Knapp